Sunday, March 13, 2011

SOC Sunday- Life is too short to be miserable

This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post hosted by all.things.fadra. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

    •    Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
    •    Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
    •    Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.

Five minutes. Got it. Ready, set, go.

Jake's grandmother passed away on Friday morning. We are sad, of course, but so thankful that Jake was able to make it up there to visit her before she passed. The first day he was there, she had a few moments of clarity with him, recognized him and thanked him for coming to visit her. And everyone said that when she met Ava, she got the biggest smile on her face that she's had in a very long time. 

So we all knew the end was close, the doctors had given her less than a week left to live. And I truly believe that she would have waited for Jake to get up there, she knew he was coming to visit. And his dad ended up driving up there, so all 4 of her kids were there with her. 

It's sad of course, but I think people know when they're ready to go. You get tired. And what is supposed to be a sad situation isn't as much sad as comfort at knowing their pain is over. 

Jake shared a bit about grandma's life with me. How her mother died in childbirth and she was raised by her aunts. How she didn't have the nicest husband. And it wasn't until after he died and she moved and started helping out with the Grandmother Program at school that she really found herself. 

And we talked a bit more. About how life is too short to be miserable. 
Too short to stay married to the wrong person. Too short to stay in a job that you hate.

My grandmother always says that every moment you spend hateful or angry is a moment you'll never get back. That life isn't a dress rehearsal for something bigger. This is it. I mean, looking at Ava, it's so obvious just how fast time goes by. Moments that you'll never get back.

Jake and I have a wonderful marriage. Friends always tell us that we're perfect for each other, that we're adorable, that we obviously make each other so happy. We work really hard at our marriage. We talk constantly, and really try and make the other person's happiness a priority. 

But after his grandmother passed, and our conversation, it's even more important to us that we stay happy. That we go the extra mile to work on our marriage. Do the little things. Talk. Spend time together. Not hold grudges. Don't live in the past. Forgive past mistakes. Hugs. Kisses. 

"Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you can spend it only once. -Lillian Dickson"


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Lesley said... [Reply to comment]

You're right on the money, honey.
Like my 'lil stolen lyrics say: It's so easy to laugh. It's so easy to hate. It takes guts to be gentle and kind. I really do try (not always successfully ) to live by that.

Life goes by fast. Like Mr. Ferris Bueller said. And it's really easy to get swept up in the little things that take over the big things. Things like fights that last 3 hours, or a broken promise that erases all the kept ones.

I totally admire that you get this shit! You understand how important it is to be aware!

Lesley said... [Reply to comment]

And hey, pretty girl...I have a new button. I order you to replace the old one.

Anonymous said... [Reply to comment]

Wow, you type fast. I don't think I can do that many paragraphs in 5 minutes!

MAMA BRANDI said... [Reply to comment]

We really all have to remember to live while we're here and ENJOY it. Thanks for the reminder!

Mom Hearts Pinot said... [Reply to comment]

definitely a good reminder- thanks for posting it!

Unknown said... [Reply to comment]

Wow. You have completely changed my focus for tonight. Life is too short to do the things we hate. Thank you.

Rusti said... [Reply to comment]

so sorry for your loss, and thanks for the reminder... I definitely need a new job. mine sucks the life out of me daily, and I hate it... Life is definitely too short to spend that kind of time in a place that makes me so miserable! *HUGS* to you!

all.things.fadra said... [Reply to comment]

Super duper great post. I love it when people take the time to reflect. And more importantly, I love it when people have respect for the people and history that have come before them. Thanks!

Kristen @ Who's Watching the Baby? said... [Reply to comment]

The hubs and I agreed to just. stop. when we feel a fight coming on... Just to look at each other and say, "Give me a break," and then move on. I figure that each morning, I wake up and decide to be married to him again that all these little annoyances and frustrations aren't worth my time.

The marriage part I came by honestly, but keeping focused and not getting riled up by little things with the kids got easier because i faked it till I made it. I always felt self-conscious running around with 4 (now 5) kids - you don't want to be the one yelling at 3 crying kids or whatever in the middle of the grocery. So now I just smile and deal, pick up dropped things, cheerfully wrangle writhing toddlers back into the shopping cart, wipe the baby spit up off the front of my shirt, all with a giant silly smile on my face. I probably look like a lunatic, but along the way I learned to enjoy this time. It's such silly chaos that there's just no sense in getting worked over by a 'stressful' shopping trip. Because that? Is not real stress. It's nothing.

Anyway, I just SOC'd all over your comments. Glad you all had a nice weekend. :-)