Marriage is for suckers

Well, according to some of my facebook friends, it is.

What is it about facebook that makes people want to spill their guts? When did FB become a personal diary? Did people forget that other people can read it?

I don't mind the updates. I'm lazy, so I like being able to keep up with people, without having to send out emails, photos, etc. What I do mind? People bashing their spouses, and forgetting that everyone can read it.

You want to post that you had a bad day? Have at it. Your kids are driving you crazy? Yeah, mine are too. Your car isn't running right and you might have to buy a new one? I get it.

But when people start posting "My husband is such a d-bag, I can't believe I married that effer",  I have a problem with that. Especially when in ten minutes, they've deleted it and replaced it with "I heart my hubby, he's super duper awesome!" So, because you've made up and things are all sunshine and roses again, you think deleting the crap you just wrote about him makes it so it never happened?

I don't care if hubby and I have just had World War 3, you will never hear about it on FB. I have more respect for my husband, angry or not, to ever degrade him in "public". And yeah, yeah, I get it, your page is "private" so it's okay. Well, unless you have NO friends on your page, what you just wrote was read by your friends, your family, and I'm sure your spouse. Why expose the rest of the world to your private problems?

I posted the above status on my FB yesterday, after reading someone's status. Basically, she said that she's always been miserable in her ten plus year marriage and she thought that marriage is supposed to be fun. Then, her husband comments and says he agrees, that he's miserable too and marriage isn't what he thought. Well congratulations, you both look like idiots.

But one thing that really made me smile? A friend commented on my status and wrote some really sweet things.

Did I mention that I've never met her in person, and she's only met my husband once? So, her view of our marriage is strictly based on what we say about each other on FB, and what she's heard about us from other people.

The stuff you will see on my (and hubby's) facebook?

Jake and I obviously joke around a lot, appreciating your spouse doesn't always have to be all mushy, lovey-dovey, "You make the birds sing and the sun rise" stuff.

But when did people forget that they are supposed to lift up their spouse, not bring them down? When did your vow to "love, honor, and cherish" your partner become "love (when it's easy), honor (when you feel like it), and cherish (when it's convenient)?"

My marriage isn't perfect, no one's is. But when I'm feeling upset or something, I have a couple of girlfriends that I talk to. That's fine, and HEALTHY. It's healthy to talk about your problems. What I don't find acceptable or appropriate is to  rant, bitch, and degrade your spouse to ALL of your friends, family, acquaintances, old high school classmates, etc on a place like FB.

Think about it. Some people's only view of you and your marriage is through what you post (because it's not just close friends that we have on FB that know the whole story, you have acquaintances on there too). And that goes for blogs too. If ALL you ever do is post about how miserable you are, what an idiot your spouse is, how much you hate your life, well guess what. People are NOT sympathizing with you. We're thinking that maybe it's YOU with the problem, since you'd rather spend your energy bitching about your spouse than talk to them. Because God forbid, you actually have to WORK at your marriage. Crazy idea, right?

Think about what you're writing before you hit that "share" button. Because even though you may go and delete it, you've just broken down your marriage a little bit. Your anger will subside, but the damage remains.