Tuesday, May 17, 2011

RSVP? Next time I'm writing "Lemme know, damnit".

So, my oldest turns 8 on Sunday. Like, holy crap, I can't believe she's already going to be 8.

We're doing her party at the skating rink, she requested a rock star theme. Pretty cool stuff, hubby designed her invites to look like concert tickets. I've reserved 12 slots at the rink, and luckily you only have to pay for the kids that show up (not like Chuck E Cheese who has you pre-pay regardless of how many show). So I've bought 12 buckets for her favors, figuring that in a best case scenario, everyone shows. We've decided to stick with girls only, and she invited the girls from her class.

So I send out the invites about 2 weeks ago on a Friday. And, like most invites, I asked for them to RSVP. I figured, if they couldn't come and would let me know, Arielle could invite some of her other friends. Friends from softball, our friends kids, etc. And no, it's not a "A List" or "B List" type of thing. It's more of a "mommy is paying for 12 slots, let's fill those suckers".

So out of 12 people, only 3 kids have RSVP'd. Two of them sisters from the same family. So two moms. I mean, what the hell, other 9 moms? Where are your manners? Arielle thinks that 6 of the girls said that they can't come. Well, gee slacker moms, thanks. And now if I send out some more invites to fill those slots, I look like the slacker mom who waited for the last minute to send out invites.

I just wish I had these mom's emails or something, but I don't think I should have to chase them down. Oh, and I put email and cell phone number on there, in case they had some weird phone call phobia.

Do you RSVP? Am I being unreasonable? Am I old fashioned, since I always RSVP whether it's a yay or nay? Do you get better results with putting "RSVP regrets only" and just assume if you haven't heard from them that they are coming? I know she's really excited about her party, I'd hate to see the look on her face if only a couple of people show.







Arielle on her second birthday. I can't believe she was ever so little.














My soon to be 8 year old. I might punch some parents in the head if they cause this smile to leave her face.









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Ches said... [Reply to comment]

I just had my 7 year olds birthday party and the parents RSVP'd very promptly. I usually just rsvp if I am able to come and have assumed that the host will take my no response as a regret. Not sure what the whole etiquette is on this though. Can you get the emails from your daughters teacher just to follow up? I would hate for you to invite other kids and then those show up too.

carolyn said... [Reply to comment]

the people who don't RSVP are so. freaking. rude. second the comment about asking for contact info from the teacher.

Life, Crafts and Whatever said... [Reply to comment]

I emailed the teacher, and she said it's against school policy to give out contact info, but she'd ask the girls if they gave the invite to their parents. Doesn't help me, but it's a start I guess.

Whimsy-ma-blog said... [Reply to comment]

That totally sucks! how rude! RSVP-ing is just the sign of a responsible adult. Losers!

And Arielle is so beautiful!

~Beth D. said... [Reply to comment]

I RSVP... a day late. If the date says the 15th, I remember the next day! I try to call before I think the person would go shopping for supplies.

I lose numbers and invites easily. If I don't call, I try to catch the mom at school or send a note with the kid to hand to their mom.

Sorry, I'm a slacker in the RSVP department, but I try!

Jen @ Domesticated Nomad said... [Reply to comment]

It's weird that you don't have the list. Our schools give out the class lists with address, phone and email, unless you opt out, but no one ever does because it's so convenient! So, it doesn't help you know, but you should get your school to change that policy!

We just had my son's party and I only got a handful until I sent out a reminder email to the class list (faster than calling everyone!) and that drummed up lots of response and "Oh, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you sooner!" It is rude to not respond, but then again we are all human and therefore, forgetful.

It seems our society has lost this bit of etiquette which is sad. In the end we had all but 5 out of 26 respond and only one out of those 5 turned up anyway. So without response I tend to assume no, but keep at least one or two spaces open.

Sam @ The Junk House said... [Reply to comment]

Ugh! I have serious issues with people's etiquette these days. I used to be the Social Coordinator for a "new to less than 5 years with the company" group at work, until people wouldn't RSVP and I got so stressed (pissed) that I quit the role. And don't even get me started on thank you cards!

-Lidy said... [Reply to comment]

Ugh! I know how you feel...I HATE when people don't RSVP.

Love the title of this blog post! :)

Angie said... [Reply to comment]

Yes it's rude not to rsvp! And one time, I assumed that those who didn't rsvp weren't coming, but some did show up. I reallllllly wanted to say something snark-a-licious to them.... so rude!

LP aka A Crafty Southern Chick said... [Reply to comment]

I'd go with "lemme know, dammit"...LOL I wish I could say I *always* remember but I don't; however, with anything involving kids I try to because like you said--I wouldn't want her to be upset if only a couple showed!

Megan said... [Reply to comment]

That is the most annoying thing ever! How hard is it to text or send an email say yay or nay?!?! Every time I throw a party this happens, oh and my wedding was a nightmare, those plates ain't cheap!

Michelle said... [Reply to comment]

I get so frustrated with people that do not respond to RSVP's on invitations. Just as bad is when people do respond but do the opposite of what they said they would do.

Apparently their parents and grandparents weren't as good as ours because mine taught me etiquette. Now I understand times have changed and some "rules" have changed but there are some things that should not and this is one of them!

Lesley said... [Reply to comment]

Arrggg! It pissed me off to read this.
I hate it when people don't call. It's so, so rude. We had a very similar situation once. For my son's birthday party, we were having a movie night sleepover. We rented a popcorn machine, set up a concession stand, bought a cotton candy machine...like, put a decent amount of money into this thing. Out of the 10 invitations ( which included a RSVP by this exact date reminder ) sent out 3 replied yes and the rest didn't reply. So we assume they aren't coming and invite a few other kids who do RSVP and do show up.
The party night comes and ALL of the parents who did not RSVP show up on my doorstep with kids in tow. I mean...are you kidding? Now I have 17 or 18 kids in my house with no place to put them. We ended up staying up until midnight setting up tents so that the boys could have a camp out instead.
Seriously frustrating and uncool. I feel your pain, sweet cheeks.

Helen and Lindi said... [Reply to comment]

That's so frustrating! I hate it when people don't RSVP. The same thing happened for our wedding, on a grander scale- only about half of our guests RSVP'd and the rest just showed up. It's so hard to plan when you don't know who is coming!

Good luck with it. :)

--Helen from Bettencourt Chase

Rachel @ Pleased as Punch said... [Reply to comment]

HELLO! People are so rude. Here are some theories: 1. they were raised by wild poodles, and it's not their fault.
2. I don't know how old you are, but I'm like 35-ish. Ok, basically 36. I'm now one of the "old" moms. These freaking young moms were somehow raised in a different generation and were never taught manners. (No offense to you freaking young moms out there.)
3. I really have no other theory. People are just rude. :( I hope it turns out well and that your daughter has a GREAT time at her party! I know how it is, as a mom, you just don't want to see your kids hurt.