This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post hosted by all.things.fadra. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
• Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
• Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
• Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
Five minutes. Got it. Ready, set, go.
Hubby and I went to the mall twice in the past week. Which is a LOT for us, I haven't been to the mall in probably 9 months. Which sounds like a long time for a girl who loves to shop. First I was on bedrest for the last two months of my pregnancy. Then we got busy with Ava and the NICU situation, and then we've been down to one car cause hubby's car has been in the shop for FOREVER.
But I dragged hubby there. I chopped off 6 inches of my hair last week, and wanted some earrings that I saw on Forever21 online. Which of course, they didn't have jack in the store. And then on Friday we went because I got an email from Fredericks that they were having a bra sale. I FREAKING love their bras. Nevermind the fact that Victorias Secret doesn't even carry my stinking size. I mean, really? But the email said that all bras were on sale for $19, and I wanted a nude colored one. And I picked up a red and black zebra print one for $9. Rawr baby.
But as we're walking around, I can't help but notice the different levels of skank that are running rampant in the mall. Girls with shorts on that are no longer than their underwear. A 16ish year old girl with a shirt that says "Looking for my next sugar daddy." So much cleavage its distracting. I mean, a 15 year old girl with her boobies shoved up under her chin. Really?
And after I got past being disgusted and irritated, I started to worry. I mean, I'm the mommy to ALL GIRLS. And Arielle is 7, almost 8. Which is pretty close to 15 with as fast as time goes past. And it's scary. Is my daughter going to be the one who leaves the house in one outfit and changes into another? Is she going to be hiking up her skirt as soon as she's out of the house?
Now, in middle school here, they switch to uniforms. Khaki pants or khaki knee length skirts. White or navy blue polo shirt. I'm undecided how I feel about uniforms. I'm all about kids being themselves, but not when it involves push up bras and "Juicy" written across their butt. And it's sad, because I'm sure that at least half of these parents saw what these kids were wearing when they walked out the door.
Now, in middle school here, they switch to uniforms. Khaki pants or khaki knee length skirts. White or navy blue polo shirt. I'm undecided how I feel about uniforms. I'm all about kids being themselves, but not when it involves push up bras and "Juicy" written across their butt. And it's sad, because I'm sure that at least half of these parents saw what these kids were wearing when they walked out the door.
So we really try to watch what she wears. Skirts and dresses must be longer than her fingertips. If not, there has to be leggings worn underneath. No halter tops without a cardigan on top. Midrift must be covered when she raises her arms. No bikinis on my tween. No short shorts with writing on the butt. Kids are so sexualized so young.
But I don't think it's controlling. She loves zebra print, and bright colors, and rhinestones on her shirt, and I'll buy those for her. But there are rules. I don't care what her friends will be wearing, I want her to want to be classy, not trashy. And I want her to want that too.
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I think it's terrific that you're teaching her to respect her body and cover up. I nearly had a fit in Target awhile back when I saw the Disney/Demi Lovato line if clothes that included tiny little black tap pants and black lace stretch leggings in sizes for 5-year-olds. Long ago I made the meanie parent move to ban Nickolodeon and their teeny sitcoms (like iCarly) because I didn't like what they were teaching the kids. Bases on the last few episodes I've seen, quite a few Disney shows are going to
have to join the no-no list. Too much kissing and scheming and lying to parents and authority figures.
Now I'm the one ranting. Sorry. But they're being forced to grow up too fast, and I'm going to stand stubbornly in the way. No size 5T bikinis. No high heels. No short shorts. Enough is enough.
Good job mom! Way to stand up for having standards. I work with kids for a living, and so many of their clothing issues start with what their moms dress them in as little girls. The moms think it's cute and don't realize the bad habits they're training their girls to have. If more parents would understand the need to teach their daughters to respect themselves, I think we'd be seeing less skanks out there :)
at my writing class we do an exercise like this, but we take 20 mins yikes, when I finished my hand hurts (oh yeah did i mention we did it the old way?)
I think if kids are well raised they usually wont go through that kind of trouble :( i hope you don't have to struggle with that :/
Y'know what sweetie...I was a total skank when I was a teenager. I wore the shortest miniskirts and the pushiest push up bras ever. It was kinda ridiculous.
But then I think about the " why " of why I was dressing like that. I was dying for male attention in any form and sexual attention was easily attainable. Most of these girls now..I just feel sorry for. I wish they knew how pretty and lovely they are without all of that " help ".
Great post chick.
I don't have kids, but I truly believe it's how you raise them up - and how you set the example for them to be able to express their creativity is what makes the difference. When I was a youth leader at church, I knew so many girls that didn't have "rules" about what to wear - and that's how they dressed... thinking that it was perfectly ok to showcase themselves like that. It's so sad, but communication with parents - and a few boundaries set - really do make a huge difference.
Stopping by from Fadra's SOC Sunday!
Hear hear! My girls are 20, 16, and just turned 14. Do you remember those "Brats" dolls and the game? We didn't allow them into the house. And someone gave our youngest the board game, we discretely tossed it. You just have to exercise good judgment and TALK about it! ;-) ~Lori
Amen sista! TOTALLY agree!
I grew up in a pretty conservative school system, and they were quick to send kids home with an unexcused absence if they didn't meet the dress code guidelines. Folks were mostly lower- to middle-middle class around there, and no one was buying their kids second sets of clothes to skank around in. Even summer clothes had to be wearable to school in the fall (we went back in late August).
The culture shock when I moved to a more metropolitan area dazed me for a while. These little girls let it all hang out, and some of their mommas don't care.
I totally agree! I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old...both girls and I am *so worried* about what things will be like when they are teens. Yikes! Sounds like you are doing a great job of helping her learn how to dress...and it doesn't seem controlling at all!
Don't even thing for a minute you are stifling her independence and freedom of expression. I was a 7th grade teacher to girls who were having sex. And it's much younger now. It's your job to teach your daughters what's appropriate and hat's not until they have the maturity to decide for themselves (which will probably be long after they graduate college!). Good job, mom.
I have twin daughters they are 12 yrs. old (6th grade) and we are the same way with them.
Our first middle school football game was an eye opener for my husband and I. We could not believe the things the girls were wearing and the massive amounts of makeup on their faces. Even worse, their parents were there with them.
We are not super strict on our girls, but we do not allow the short shorts, makeup, etc.
It is so important to teach young girls to value themselves, so GOOD JOB!!
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