Marriage is for suckers

Well, according to some of my facebook friends, it is.

What is it about facebook that makes people want to spill their guts? When did FB become a personal diary? Did people forget that other people can read it?

I don't mind the updates. I'm lazy, so I like being able to keep up with people, without having to send out emails, photos, etc. What I do mind? People bashing their spouses, and forgetting that everyone can read it.

You want to post that you had a bad day? Have at it. Your kids are driving you crazy? Yeah, mine are too. Your car isn't running right and you might have to buy a new one? I get it.

But when people start posting "My husband is such a d-bag, I can't believe I married that effer",  I have a problem with that. Especially when in ten minutes, they've deleted it and replaced it with "I heart my hubby, he's super duper awesome!" So, because you've made up and things are all sunshine and roses again, you think deleting the crap you just wrote about him makes it so it never happened?

I don't care if hubby and I have just had World War 3, you will never hear about it on FB. I have more respect for my husband, angry or not, to ever degrade him in "public". And yeah, yeah, I get it, your page is "private" so it's okay. Well, unless you have NO friends on your page, what you just wrote was read by your friends, your family, and I'm sure your spouse. Why expose the rest of the world to your private problems?

I posted the above status on my FB yesterday, after reading someone's status. Basically, she said that she's always been miserable in her ten plus year marriage and she thought that marriage is supposed to be fun. Then, her husband comments and says he agrees, that he's miserable too and marriage isn't what he thought. Well congratulations, you both look like idiots.

But one thing that really made me smile? A friend commented on my status and wrote some really sweet things.

Did I mention that I've never met her in person, and she's only met my husband once? So, her view of our marriage is strictly based on what we say about each other on FB, and what she's heard about us from other people.

The stuff you will see on my (and hubby's) facebook?

Jake and I obviously joke around a lot, appreciating your spouse doesn't always have to be all mushy, lovey-dovey, "You make the birds sing and the sun rise" stuff.

But when did people forget that they are supposed to lift up their spouse, not bring them down? When did your vow to "love, honor, and cherish" your partner become "love (when it's easy), honor (when you feel like it), and cherish (when it's convenient)?"

My marriage isn't perfect, no one's is. But when I'm feeling upset or something, I have a couple of girlfriends that I talk to. That's fine, and HEALTHY. It's healthy to talk about your problems. What I don't find acceptable or appropriate is to  rant, bitch, and degrade your spouse to ALL of your friends, family, acquaintances, old high school classmates, etc on a place like FB.

Think about it. Some people's only view of you and your marriage is through what you post (because it's not just close friends that we have on FB that know the whole story, you have acquaintances on there too). And that goes for blogs too. If ALL you ever do is post about how miserable you are, what an idiot your spouse is, how much you hate your life, well guess what. People are NOT sympathizing with you. We're thinking that maybe it's YOU with the problem, since you'd rather spend your energy bitching about your spouse than talk to them. Because God forbid, you actually have to WORK at your marriage. Crazy idea, right?

Think about what you're writing before you hit that "share" button. Because even though you may go and delete it, you've just broken down your marriage a little bit. Your anger will subside, but the damage remains. 

What I'm Loving Wednesday 3-30-2011

So, I'm linking up with Jamie in today's link party.

1. I'm loving the 30% off coupon that I got for Kohl's. Which yielded me two pairs of Hydraulic capris (love that brand, fits my tushie well and doesn't show off my muffin top), plus a bunch of new shirts for the girls, and these wedges for me. Candies wedges for $23? What what!

2. I'm loving that I won one of the giveaways thru the fundraiser that Crystal held for Austin. Gotta love donating money and something from my Etsy store to help a precious boy, and ending up winning a prize. I picked these shoes by Carlos Santana.

3. I'm loving that I've been writing down all of my calories for the past week, and trying to keep them around 1500. And I'm especially loving the fact that I've lost 3 lbs so far, and that I went and did Cardio Fit last night with my friend Jen, even though I wanted to sit in my warm house. And I'm loving the pina colada I had afterwards to celebrate.

4. I'm loving all the suggestions I got when I asked for ideas of where to do Arielle's 8th birthday party. I researched all of them, put together prices, number of guests, location, etc. Then I told Arielle what our options are, and she says "I just want to do another skating party like last year." Silly girl, but at least now we know the location, and I've made the reservations.

5. I'm loving that since it's Wednesday, we'll be going out to eat tonight. The girls have practice on Wednesdays, so we go out to eat afterwards. We're trying to cut down on how often we eat out. But I heart going out to eat.

6. I'm loving that my tattoo appointment is this Sunday! Been wanting to get my arm worked on some more since forever, and the guy I want to have tattoo me is usually booked 4 months out. But I checked a couple of weeks ago, and he had an opening for this Sunday, and I got it. Woot! I'm excited! Not excited for the healing process though.

7. I'm loving this video that hubby shot last night when I was working out.

What's on Jen's phone? 3-29-2011

It's Tuesday, sucka.

The guidelines.

1. spend the week looking for interesting, funny, cute, special, lovely, ugly, silly, crude (okay maybe not crude), or other worthy pictures. and by that it pretty much means anything.

2. when you find them, snap a shot with your phone.

3. then on tuesday, upload it into your blog.

Spent more time at the dentist. Got my temporary crowns changed to permanent ones.

Hubby bought me flowers. Or as Bloggy BFF Lesley calls them, "Thank you for always having sex with me" flowers.

Donated blood for the first time. Hubby is in the background on the left, donating blood too. Ava needed 2 transfusions during her 66 days in the NICU, so we said we would start.

Then the girls had their games. Soccer for Jasmin, softball for Arielle....

...which resulted in this sunburn for momma.

Bloggy Bestie Lesley got the sign I made for her. Finally. I shipped it over two weeks ago. Last name cropped out of pic cause there are lotsa weirdos out there, and she's fabulous and I would totally stalk her too.

The girls had Goofy Glasses Night at church.

And Ava and I rocked our snazzy sunglasses too.

Birthday Party Ideas needed

Can I pick your brains for a minute?

My oldest daughter, Arielle, is going to be 8 in May. Eek, my baby is going to be 8. And then she'll be 13, and then 16. Yowzas, where does the time go? But I digress.

Anywho, I'm tapped out on birthday party location ideas.

We did Chuck E Cheese for Arielle's 5th, and Jasmin's 3rd birthday parties.

Arielle's 6th birthday party was at the bowling alley.

For Jasmin's 4th birthday, we took the girls and my parents to Medieval Times, and then had cake and presents at home.

Arielle's 7th birthday party was at the skating rink.

For Jasmin's 5th birthday, we bought tickets to Mickey's Rockin' Road Show, and then did cake and presents at the house.

So, those are the parties that we've done. I really don't want to do a party at the house. We have a decent sized house, 2200 square feet. But once you invite 8 kids, and they all bring at least one parent and possibly a sibling or two, it gets small really fast. Plus, I did a party for Jake last year, and even though it was all close friends we invited, and all of their kids are pretty well behaved, we still ended up with some damage to the house (the joys of flat builder's paint that shows every scuff and finger mark. So I had to do a lot of touch up painting after the party). Plus, the kids always want to play with my parrot, which I understand. But then he gets all squawky, and he's never bitten but I don't want to take the risk.

We normally spend about $150 when we book a place (bowling alley, skating rink, etc) and want to stay around that price range. We talked about renting a bounce house, but then we'd have to have it at the house.

Any suggestions on location, dear readers? I know Arielle wants a rock star theme (pink, black and white, with zebra print accents). And hubby will make the invites, he's going to use the same layout that he used for my Rock Star themed baby shower (the joys of being married to a graphic designer, he made my invites look like backstage passes). And I have a few ideas for the party, like getting bright color hair extension clip ins for their hair, stuff like that. But if you have any ideas for rock star themed parties, I'd love to hear those too.

SOC Sunday- Gorgeous? Tiny? Are you talking to ME?

This is my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post hosted by all.things.fadra. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

    •    Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
    •    Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
    •    Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.

Five minutes. Got it. Ready, set, go.

So, you'll have to forgive me if this is a blah post. I still feel like hell.

We donated blood yesterday, me for the first time. Needles? Ugh. I hate needles. Yes, the chick with all the tattoos and piercings hates needles. That scene in Saw 2 when that dude throws Amanda in the pit of needles? Ugh, made my skin crawl. And I apparently have great veins and I never have a problem when they go to draw blood.

So I donated, and felt really damn proud of myself. Ava needed two blood transfusions when she was in the NICU, so Jake and I said we were going to start donating regularly.

I was fine when it was over, but about an hour or so later, I start dry heaving and feeling like crap. Mind you, we just sat out in the sun for an hour, watching my middle daughter's soccer game. So i think the heat and the blood drawing combined kicked my ass. I still feel like crap. 

But the point of this post, you ask? When the tech was finishing up, she said "Since this is your first time donating, and since you're so tiny, go grab a powerade and a snack and hang out for ten or so minutes so we can keep an eye on you." 

And my immediate thought? "Who, me? Tiny? Are you crazy? I'm bloated cause I'll be starting my period soon. And I'm still working off those 8 lbs I want to lose. And I know you can see my muffin top thru this shirt."

And I posted a pic of me donating, and my girlfriend Erin thanked me for donating (she lost over 100% of her blood when she was delivering and is still alive. God is good) and then said I was "stinkin' gorgeous" in my pic.

And my thought? "Who, me? Cute, yeah. Some days even pretty. But gorgeous? Really?"

Why do we do that? Why are people so self deprecating? Is that a better option than "Hells yeah, I know I look good." Why can't we just accept a freakin' compliment? 

I read an article in Cosmo or Glamour about verbal and mental abuse. And the worst offenders? OURSELVES.

"You look fat in that outfit. Hello, cellulite thighs. Ever heard of braces, snaggletooth?"

You wouldn't say those things to a friend. So why do people think it's okay to say it to themselves?

Why is it so hard to believe the good things people say about us? Why is it easier to listen to the "you're stupid/fat/ugly/slutty/insert negativity here".

Can you truly, graciously accept a compliment? I mean, with JUST a "thank you" instead of the "thank you, BUT......."

Like, I get told I have really white teeth a lot. And my response? "Thanks, BUT I hate these little white lines on my teeth from when I had braces." 

Or, hubby will say "You look really gorgeous today, babe. I like your new lipstick color." And my response? "Thanks, BUT there isn't enough make up in the world to cover up this zit."

I come across as a super confident chick. But some days I can accept a compliment. Some days I can't. You?

Where are our manners?

So, I may or may not have been very nice to my husband earlier. 

My mom came over, and we'll be hitting up Kohls with our 30% off coupon later. But, the only snag to this situation is that my husband had my car, which means he had the carseat too. 

So I sent him a text, asking him if he's at work, and he texts back and says the guys talked him into going to Whataburger. So I told him that I needed the carseat out of the car, and will he still be there in 20 minutes, and he says yes. 

So I end up sitting in traffic for a while, thanks to the construction on highway 30 near my house. So I finally get to Whataburger, and I don't see my car. So I call him, already irritated that I just sat in traffic and he's not even there. And this is our conversation. 

Me: Hey sweetums! I'm at Whataburger and I don't see the car?

Him: Oh, we took Tony's car. 

Me: Well, I told you I was coming to get the carseat. So if I need the carseat, why are you telling me that you're at Whataburger instead of telling me the carseat is at your work so I could have saved myself the hassle of sitting in traffic?

Him: I'm sorry babe, I didn't think. I was thinking you were coming to get the keys. 

Except, the parts he said are all true, and my parts may or may not but probably are not true, and I may have started the conversation with "Damnit!" and dropped an f-bomb in the middle, and hung up at the end.

All is fine now, and I texted him about 10 minutes later to apologize (me being psycho would usually warrant a phone call, but I didn't because he was out with his friends). And he texts back and says no worries and he loves me and it's his fault for the mix up. I mean, awesome hubby, right?

And I got to thinking. You ever notice that we're nicer to complete strangers than the ones who love us? I mean, you're out at the store, and someone is in your way, and you say "excuse me", right? And what do you say when your kids are in the way? I don't know about you, but I say "hey, move it". Why do I not take the time to be polite to my own kids? Please tell me that I'm not the only one guilty of that? 

Not that all strangers are nice, though. I can't count the number of times I've held open the door for someone, just to have them walk through it without even a "thanks". I mean, how long does it take to be polite?

But I'm the one who will call you out on it too. 

One time we were at Walmart, and a lady picked up something off the shelf, and a bunch of other stuff fell off the shelf. My oldest daughter runs over to her, and says "I'll help you pick those up!" and picks them all up. The lady just looks at her, watches Arielle pick up HER mess, and has the nerve to not even say thank you. Arielle walks over to me, and says "Mom, I helped that lady and she didn't say thank you?" I said, very loudly and while looking at the lady, "It's okay, honey, you did a great thing. But some people just don't have any manners." To that, the lady mumbles "thanks" and walks away. 

Most people are nice when they see me walking up with a stroller or a carseat, and will take the time to open the door for me. And I do the same when I see a fellow mom. Camaraderie, right? But I'll still get that random person who will just let the door slam in my face, or squeeze past the stroller to get into the door first.

Is it rudeness? Or are people completely oblivious to others around them? Where are our manners?

It's gotten to where when hubby and I get great customer service somewhere (especially Walmart, grrr), we're almost surprised. It's like we expect the rudeness, and being polite is a rare thing. 

I was always raised to have good manners. If I called someone and their parents answered, I had to say "Hi, this is Jennifer, is Lesley there, please?" None of this "Lesley there?" crap. And I really try to teach my girls to say "please" and "thank you" and the importance of having manners. So why do we waste our time teaching our kids something that as adults, most of us don't use? 

Are you lazy with your manners? Could you stand to be more polite? Or do you want to punch rude people in the head as much as I do? 

Crate & Barrel "Layla" Knockoff

This project was featured on Knock Off Decor! Can I get a what what!






So, this is the project that I've been working on. 

For. The. Past. Week. 

Seriously took so much longer than I planned. But I heart it so it's worth it, right? 

I originally saw this pillow at Crate & Barrel. The price? $59.

Gorgeous? Yes. $59 for a pillow? No thank ya. So I'm going to make one myself. Cause I'm cheap I enjoy a challenge.

First step? Pick up some felt at Hobby Lobby. Spent $4 on a yard of it (and could have gotten away with a half yard, I have a ton left over). Then I cut it in a 17x17 inch square.

Then I traced out some circles so I could cut them out. The sizes I used? A quarter, the lid to vitamin C supplements, and a half dollar.

Then cut out the sixty bazillion circles.

The description to the pillow says that the edges are singed for texture and depth. So I did the same thing. Used a candle to slightly singe the edges. Warning! These can burn fast, don't hold it too close.

The singed one is on the top, the non singed one is on the bottom. Can you see a difference?

Then I laid out my circles to get my layout. I handsewed my circles, which took FOREVER. But I do have a certain 7 month old who decided this week that I can't put her down, so I could only sew for a few minutes at a time, or after she went to bed.

Then after it's all finished (don't judge my ugly backside), I sewed the front and back together. Don't forget to leave an opening so you can flip and stuff it.

And then you flip it, stuff it, and sew up the hole.

And VOILA!

And it's fabulous and you love it and think I must be awesome to be able to handsew all of those circles and make them look perfect, right?

Well, I won't lie. Some of my circles looked like this awesome circle.

And some circles, you'd swear that I was drunk while I sewed them.

• Keep the felt moving while you're singing the edges. If not, you're not going to end up with a circle. You're going to end up with a blobby thing when the flame melts away the fabric instead of singeing it. See photo above. Oops. 
• I normally just leave a 5 inch opening in the pillow. But since felt doesn't have a lot of stretch, I'd leave a bigger one. You don't want your fabric to stretch out while you're flipping it. 
• The reason I handsewed it is because I wanted the stitches to be more visible. I couldn't get the stitches with my machine to show up, no matter what stitch length/tension I put it on. But you may have more luck than I did. 
• Don't forget to clip your corners before you flip it. I use a chopstick to get the corners nice and pointy.

Love it? Hate it? (Please humor me and pick the first one. My ego is fragile)





We all love a good party!